Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, and whether you will share it with someone or not has nothing to do with whether you commemorate the day. In my earlier days, I used to rely on people to make that day special for me, but as I got older (especially after my divorce) I realized the only one that truly has the ability to make any day special is me. You know yourself better than anyone else, especially what you like and what makes you feel good. So why not take it upon yourself to schedule a little treat that you know will bring you joy?
If you do have someone special in your life, make sure to acknowledge the day even if it is just with a small gift. Truly, the worst thing you can do is ignore the day– even if that person may have told you s/he isn’t into Valentine’s Day. You certainly don’t need to go crazy, but you also don’t want to send the message that you don’t care at all. Not sure what to do? Play it safe with a card and something sweet– remember, there’s never a down side to showing someone that you don’t take the relationship for granted.
If you are currently in between relationships, know that you are far from alone. Maybe host some single friends for dinner or treat yourself to your favorite take-out? While streaming your favorite series or sipping a glass of wine by the fireplace, don’t allow negative thoughts to creep in and ruin the moment. Let go of the past, and instead appreciate where you are now and envision where you want to be 12 months from now.
How is it that I’ve come to such a zen place? To be honest, a few years back was my worst Valentine’s Day ever– the person I was with did not get me anything, and to add insult to injury he explained that “since you’ve been so critical about my spending, I decided not to buy you any gifts this year.” After that relationship blew up, I made a conscious choice to take a break from guys for a few years. During that time, I learned to make the best of all holidays, either by myself or with loved ones. It was a self-imposed exercise that taught me a lot, and in many ways best prepared me for the relationship I have today, not just with my partner but with myself.
Whatever you do this Valentine’s Day weekend, know that you are loved. Regardless of whether you have a significant other, know that you alone are significant. Believe in the forces of the universe, embrace the theory of karma, and especially on this holiday that celebrates love, be kind to yourself, and those around you.
By Regina A. DeMeo