My father said to me recently, “sometimes we cannot see what everyone else arounds us sees because we are too caught up in our own lives.” I have been telling my clients the same thing for over a decade. When they come to me, they are usually caught in the eye of a storm– it is not just the legal reality of a divorce that is hitting them, but they are struggling with severe emotional and financial challenges that result from a separation. At this juncture, it is imperative that people seek out help from family, friends and trusted experts because it is humanly impossible to weather this storm alone.
I understand that it can be hard to ask for help. For most of my life, I have gotten by trying to rely on my own resources. By not expecting anything from anyone else, I was less likely to be disappointed. But it has been a very lonely road, and while professionally I’ve gained tremendous recognition the last several years, in my personal life I had to face some major challenges as a result of the economy tanking and major family developments that required immediate attention. Without the help of others, I never would have gotten through all the personal setbacks suffered, and I see the same thing with my clients. To need help from others can be a very humbling experience– but it can also show you what an amazing support network you have.
Now that I think the storm is a bit more behind me, I am able to see the big picture. When people ask me how I have managed to get through everything I have been through, all I can really truly say is I did not get this far on my own. No one can navigate through life operating as if s/he lives on a solitary island– especially when you are in the eye of a storm. With the right help, you can get through it, and after the storm has passed you will see things much more clearly.
By Regina A. DeMeo