As children, most people grow up believing they can count on the love of their families. Regardless of what happens, most people believe their families will always be in their lives. Perhaps because of this view on family love, after the honeymoon phase is over, a lot of partners start taking each other for granted. But as a wise psychologist friend once told me, “love is like a plant. If you do not water it and give it sunlight, it will die.”

Relationships rarely die overnight.  Rather it is usually a slow, painful death that occurs as seemingly minor transgressions continue to accumulate until someone hits his/her breaking point.

As a divorce attorney, I have seen more than my fair share of death and destruction in relationships. It is an unfortunate reality of life, and sometimes a necessity when we need to cut out sources of pain in order to survive.

Perhaps a far healthier approach to take in relationships is to let go of the notion of unconditional love. If we accept that all relationships are conditioned on maintaining a certain level of mutual respect, trust and shared interest, then perhaps we can keep ourselves more in check to ensure that we are fulfilling our part of the bargain.


By Regina A. DeMeo, Esq.