Most studies show that it will typically take a person 2-5 years to rebuild his/her life after a divorce. During that time, most will re-marry– in fact 75% of men once married will do so again, as will two-thirds of women. Unfortunately, some will just jump into a relationship without taking the time to grieve the loss of their first marriage, or think about what when wrong and what should be done differently the next time around.
For those of us who are used to being in a relationship and sharing our every day lives with someone, it is all too tempting to just want to be part of a unit once again, but there is some merit to reining in that desire to make sure you are making the right choices. Having figured out the parts of my past life that I really want back versus the parts that I do not miss, I am now very clear on the partner I would need to find in order to build a new life with someone else– and I have come to accept that it is also okay to envision a life without a significant other.
Many thought that I would have been remarried by now, six years post-divorce. To be honest, I would have thought so too, except I now realize just how elusive that perfect trifecta (smart, cute and kind) is among available men in my age bracket. But, the numbers do support the probability that most of us will find a second chance at married life, and in the meantime I recommend taking the time to think about what matters most to us and adopting the mantra “better to be alone than in poor company.”
By Regina A. DeMeo, Esq.