For those of us that like games, the Dating Game can be a blast. Thanks to modern technology, even without the use of online dating sites, you are constantly connecting with people through social networks– LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, and for those blessed with a decent education, good looks, and an out-going personality, every where you go there are opportunities for new encounters.
If you have stamina and a liver of steel, you can be out almost every night of the week. Then with the use of a handy little smartphone, you can just check in whenever you want with a “hey” text– perhaps even with multiple people all at once. While you are waiting for a date, you can scroll through your Facebook newsfeed and discretely keep in touch with others, who actually think you care because you hit “like” on a recent status update. It is all just so easy— and sick.
Putting aside for this discussion all the concerns about STDs, stalkers and psychos out there, I really want to caution those gamers that get so caught up in the thrill of the adventure– the chase, the hunt, the challenge– whatever you want to call it, that you lose sight of the ultimate goal. Perhaps immediately post-divorce the goal is just to have fun, but normally the whole point of the game is to sort through the options out there until you find a quality person that you want to have as your life partner.
To find a life partner, sooner or later, you need to focus, and put the games aside. It is just not possible to truly get to know someone, build trust, and actually fall in love while you continue to surround yourself with temptation and keep your options open. More than once, I have seen it happen where someone misses a great opportunity because they were too caught up in the games. It is so easy to get sucked into all the craziness and lose sight of what the end game is all about. The fact is 2/3 of all women and 75% of men will remarry post-divorce, and usually most of these people rebuild their new lives within 2-5 years after the divorce is finalized.
If you find yourself now working well outside these norms, I beg you to ask yourself, have you veered off course? Are you so off track that you might not actually be appreciating a good thing when it comes along? There is so much of an adrenaline rush that comes from playing the game, and those highs can be great– but don’t let the game the best of you.
By Regina A. DeMeo, Esq.