Voltaire is credited with the saying, “perfection is the enemy of the good.” No where is that more appropriate than in personal relationships. No one is pefect– we all have our flaws, and sadly those who are stubbornly waiting for Mr. or Ms. Perfect to come around are probably going to die alone.
For those who are motivated to share your lives with someone, you need to learn to pick your battles. This applies during the dating phase, in marriages, and especially as a parent. The fact is whenever you are trying to co-exist with someone, in order to avoid a constant battle of wills, you have to learn when to give in a little and find compromise. You cannot always have your way, and everything will not always go according to your plans. I have learned to accept this, and instead I just do my checklist to make sure that the good outweighs the bad.
I admit that my attitude adjustment didn’t happen overnight, and in large part stems from having witnessed so many people throw away their spouses or friends like disposable Kleenex. Let me assure you that the grass is not always greener on the other side– dating or living on your own post-divorce has a million challenges of its own. Therefore, if there is still good in what you have, maybe you can work to make it better or learn to tone-down that perfectionist inside you.
What I see every day as a divorce lawyer is very sad, but I also see a lot of good– people love their kids, and families will rally in a time of need. Unfortunately, in order to appreciate the good you sometimes have to experience some of the bad stuff. So, those who seek perfection will be sorely disappointed in life. Thankfully, by giving up my quest for perfection I have come to appreciate the true beauty in our flawed human existence and the bonds we choose to form while on this Earth.
By Regina A. DeMeo, Esq.