Lately there has been a surge in the use of life coaches. I’m excited to have one as my guest in an upcoming segment in December. Turns out my dating expert, Amy Schoen, who will be the guest on this week’s show is also a certified life coach, and her view is that first she needs to help her clients gain insight into their values and life goals by going through an analysis of the “areas of life.” Only after her clients have worked through this can she help them identify traits they will want to look for in a life partner.
It makes perfect sense that you would want someone that shares your vision of what would make for a good life. Sadly, I’m not sure most of us go into the dating world with a clear vision of what we really want in a partner. I think generally we go out in order to have fun, and we hope to find someone who will join us in enjoyable experiences. (That is classic dating in the hook up culture).
We all know, however, that the honeymoon doesn’t last forever. So, if you want something that will last, most life coaches will recommend that you see whether your core values are in sync with your potential partner. The critical areas of life we are supposed to reflect on are (1) career; (2) family; (3) money; (4) social/friends; (5) physical; (6) spiritual and (7) personal development. Finding the right balance with all these is not easy, and part of having realistic expectations is that you are not going to be scoring 100% in all areas at once. So, we need to accept that we will constantly be re-prioritizing these– the key then with a life partner, is finding someone that shares your same priorities.
For those on a mission to find the right match and not waste time, most relationship experts suggest that you love with your heart, but lead with your head. The partner you choose will impact all areas of your life, so indeed you need to choose wisely.
By Regina A. DeMeo, Esq.