A true friend is someone that supports you, and while they may not agree with all your choices, they will respect that it is your life to live as you see fit. Whereas, a frenemy is someone who acts like a friend- so long as you act the way they want you to act, but the second you deviate from the behavior they expect of you, they turn on you and can turn into your worst enemy.
Over the years, my friends have dated people that I may not have necessarily been thrilled with, or vice a versa, and of course, we have all voiced some concerns along the way, but we’ve also always known when to shut up and let someone figure certain things out on their own. There is a line that you cannot cross– we all should have boundaries– and those that violate our boundaries enter into dangerous territory that could get themselves ex-communicated.
It is always sad when a friend becomes less available because s/he has found a partner, but the joy you have for them should outweigh your own sadness if you are a true friend. If instead you put up a fuss, make ultimateums and generally become a thorn on someone’s side, you will soon find yourself out in the cold, completely.
The lesson for all of us here is this: you need to go with your heart, and accept that not everyone will be happy with your choices in life. If someone doesn’t respect your choices, you need to set clear boundaries early on, and if those boundaries are not respected, you need to cut all ties. Sometimes, especially with frenemies, you need to act like the Moussad– there is no room for negotiation with terrorists. Take no prisoners, just take them down and out.
By Regina A. DeMeo, Esq.