Sadly, in my professional life, I’ve seen a lot of brilliant people make very poor personal choices. Over the past decade, it’s become clear to me that a person’s IQ has NO direct correlation to his/her social IQ– and some are just beyond hope after a certain age.
Luckily, there is hope for our kids! Cathi Cohen, who wrote “Raise Your Child’s Social IQ” was a great guest on Making It Last, and she was gracious enough to share some great tips for parents that may be struggling with kids that just weren’t born with that gene that makes some of us naturally inclined to make friends, read social cues, etc. A lot has to do with setting appropriate goals, and checking in regularly with your kids. Something she said really resonated, and that is for parents to try to praise the effort, not necessarily the results.
For some kids that are shy, it simply isn’t easy to join in with a group or start up a conversation with a complete stranger. These things can take time. What our kids need more than anything from us is to be loved and accepted, so it really is important to keep up the encouraging words. While we are not trying to force an introvert to become an extrovert, it is our job as parents to teach our kids sufficient social skills to thrive in life. Cathi’s book is a great step-by-step guide on how to do this, and there are various group therapy programs that can help parents and children develop a strong social IQ.
Here is the link to the show: http://mmctv.granicus.com/MediaPlayer.php?view_id=3&clip_id=832
By Regina A. DeMeo, Esq.