In 2013, I am embracing the mantra that we are each responsible for our own happiness.  I refuse to let others rain on my parade.  With this in mind, I gently reminded my date about a week ago that Valentine’s Day is coming up and that I’d like for us to celebrate with a dinner out.  Understanding that we have other obligations, I wanted to make sure we picked a day that worked with our schedules, and then I asked whether he wanted to make the reservation or if I should– it didn’t matter to me either way, I just wanted it done.  A week later, I was pleasantly surprised to hear that he had taken care of our plans, and then it struck me– wow, I’ve come such a long way! Gone are the days when I expect anyone to read my mind, and I am no longer wasting time and energy worrying about whether plans are in the works or not.  It is so much easier to just put it all out there, and I can only hope others wishing to remain sane will do the same.

Valentines’ Day is now three weeks away, and I”m sure most women are thinking about the lingerie they want to buy, the special something they will bake for their special someone, or the gift.  If you are anything like me, the card and gift have already been purchased.  Ok, I realize I’m a bit weird, but more importantly here is the thing about most guys–  it is probably not even on their radar yet– not at all, unless of course, they are getting ready to pop the question on that day.

I used to think that guys were just pigs, and that it was my special mission to find the exception to that rule.  Well, in the past few years I’ve adjusted my thinking a bit– they aren’t actually cruel, it’s just that most are clueless.  We can either choose to get mad about that fact, or we can accept that reality and do our part to clue them in.  I’ve chosen the latter approach these past few years, and I don’t think it is a coincidence that adopting this new attitude is how I finally find myself much happier.

Now for those that are not in a committed relationship right now, I encourage you to avoid bashing the day, as I once did.  Literally, one year I took a heart shaped pinata and smacked the crap out of it while hosting an anti-V day party.  That led to some really bad love karma that year, and so I learned to just embrace V-day as a more global celebration of love in general.  So, whether it is with a bunch of friends, your children, your family, siblings, whatever, find a loved one to share Valentine’s Day and embrace it as your day, however you choose to celebrate it.  A positive attitude will lead to positive things, and it will avoid the sting of disappointment– I promise.

By Regina A. DeMeo, Esq.