While generally speaking anything seems to goes these days, it does seem like we are in need of some basic guidlines for our modern dating world.  Some things seem rather basic like (1) maybe you should hold off changing your relationship status on Facebook for the first couple of months after meeting someone; (2) before changing your profile picture to a joint photo or sending someone a relationship request, you should talk about it with the other person; and (3) be polite and get permission before posting a pic with tags.  Sadly, while these may all seem obvious FB protocols, apparently not everyone gets this, and judgment becomes even more questionable once things get a bit more steamy and a pair starts sexting.

What is the big deal about sexting?  Well, single hot brainiacs are a rare breed, and sexting is a great way to engage in witty banter at rapid speed.  It is a game that accelerates that adrenaline rush, and to be good at the play on words is a true skill.  When sexting, you engage the mind while conjuring up some great visuals.  It helps bridge the gap until you can meet up again, and can certainly add a little spice to your day.  I get all of this, but just be careful.  With the help of some friends, here are some suggested guidelines:

1. Don’t do this with strangers.  Make sure you have vetted this person first.  This truly is something you engage in with someone you trust, and you should probably have an agreement about privacy, regularly deleting past texts, etc.

2. Try to stick to one person a night.  I get that a lot of people in the game will have multiple people in the mix at one time, but there is no easier way to get busted than to send the text to the wrong person.

3. Avoid sending crass pics.  Seriously, no one needs to see your junk on their phone, and God alone knows where it could end up– although there are actually some apps that allows you to send a pic that can’t be downloaded, and it essentially self destructs in 7 seconds.  Amazing what people will think up!

4. Pick the right time.  During the day, we should really all be focused on work, and if you have kids, try to spend quality time with them and keep your sexting out of it.

5. Fess up fast.  If you suck at it, just say it’s not your thing.  It is far better to be honest upfront, than to make a half-hearted attempt and come across as lame.  That is a huge turn off.

I hate to say it, but safe sex is no longer just about an exchange of STD test results, a trip to CVS and having a plan with two forms of protection.  Modern technology has truly changed the way we connect, and you cannot just throw caution to the wind when dealing with any form of telecommunication.  Especially those in high profile jobs or anyone interested in running for public office– you have to cover your butt.

Whether the days of “clean fun” ever existed, I have no idea, but I’m pretty sure those days are now over.  The fact is that tons of people are testing the limits of how we can connect with others via the internet, our cell phones, etc.  Meanwhile, we all know that Big Brother is watching us more and more.  While there should be no issue with two single, consenting adults having fun, I do think those two should play it safe by adopting some basic sexting guidelines.

By Regina A. DeMeo