As I celebrate this Independance Day with my son in our nation’s capitol, there is just so much that I am grateful for, especially in terms of the free will I have been afforded in my life. By being born in this country, and then having been given the gift of an amazing education, today I am able to be the master of my own domain beyond what I ever could have imagined 20 years ago while backpacking through Europe by myself.
The summer of 1993, after I finished my studies in Spain, I decided to travel a bit on my own. I was surrounded by so much beauty, and because I was alone, I was able to wake up when I wanted to, eat when I was hungry, see whatever I wanted to see or skip whatever did not interest me, and set my own itinerary each and every day. Looking back 20 years later, it all makes so much sense now– I have always been a strong and independant soul. So when you fast forward to the present, it really isn’t that surprising to find that I run my own business, where I take the cases I want and turn away those that I don’t think will be a good fit. In the meantime, I develop my own tv programs and manage my own independant projects, like my lectures or the children’s book that will be released next month, all while also running my own tight ship at home.
As one of my college friends, a former special ops guy, recently pointed out to me– I am the epidemy of the alpha female. Yes, well, we are a special breed, and I am not going to lie– to survive, you are going to have to embrace solitude. By that, I do not mean that you have to live alone forever or feel lonely. But the fact is those with beauty and brains don’t really need to compromise much, and we don’t suffer fools well. So, you need to be okay with just doing your own thing and finding your own fun. Enjoy the freedom that you have in life, and don’t worry about not having a mate. People will come and go in your life, and you need to go with the flow when it comes to relationships. Finding Mr. Right is simply going to take a very long time, so get comfortable with hunting for yourself. Focus on what you want in life, and go for it!
To be perfectly candid, over the past few years, many of my female friends have done extraordinary things in their careers, and yet struggled in their personal lives– especially in this search for the right partner. Some have opted to freeze their eggs in order to stop the clock, and buy themselves more time with respect to the choice of raising a family either alone or with the right guy, should he ever miraculously appear. Being able to skip some of these tough decisions, I feel quite fortunate for I have already walked down that aisle once and played princess for the day. I have my son, and his dad is incredibly supportive of my endeavors. As sad as it is that our marriage didn’t last, we are good co-parents, and all this definitely helps me move forward with zero regrets.
At this point in my life, I have lost count of how many people have told me I have a brass set. If you have heard this a few times in your life too, then chances are you are also an alpha female– and that is a term I embrace with pride. There is nothing wrong with being assertive (and there is a big difference between that and being aggressive), strong (without being over-bearing) and having direction (as long as you don’t lose your moral compass). Just remember that with great power comes great responsibility, and I am a firm believer that women need to help other women– and as Madeline Albright said, there should be a special place in hell for those that don’t.
Alpha females–today and always, celebrate your independance! Proceed full force in pursuit of your wildest dreams. Go foward with all your missions, and just try keep an open mind if a suitable guy comes along that will be supportive of your dreams. It won’t be any run of the mill kind of guy, so perhaps you need to post this warning: Alpha Female- ISO Man with a Matching Brass Set.
By Regina A. DeMeo, Esq.