Dr. Ruth Westheimer is now 85 years old, and although it has been ages since I’ve listened to her speak, I can recall her voice as if I’d heard it just yesterday. I remember how controversial this vocal sex therapist was back in her day. Times have definitely changed, and given our vastly different generations and backgrounds, I’m sure we wouldn’t see eye-to-eye on everything, but sharing our opinions about sex unabashedly is definitely something we share in common. So maybe one day I can aspire to be the Dr. Ruth for GenXers? Heck, I’ll just start today because there are a couple of conversations that I’ve had lately with my peers that require immediate attention…
1. Don’t Worry About Numbers– Recently, while talking with some highly educated single women in their 40s I heard a few express concern about not having too high a number of sex partners. Seriously– who cares? It is not like this is some publicized number that goes on your resume! Guys don’t want to know details about your past, and you don’t need to over share. Keep your mouth shut about numbers, but do get tested for STDS, and then go have fun!
2. Don’t Let Kids Ruin Your Fun– Many of my married friends with young kids talk about having zero energy at the end of the day. Work and children can zap us of all our strength, and yet people– you need to make time to have sex- and I’m not talking about a quickie once a week. WTF? Hopefully you had fun “trying” to have a child– so there is no reason why you shouldn’t allow yourself to continue to have fun after kids come into the picture. Make all the excuses in the world you want, but I promise you that if you lose intimacy with your partner, you are entering very dangerous territory.
3. Sex Improves with Age– Well, at least up to a certain point. For those ages 20-45 let me just say that in general how you enjoy sex will change over time. As you become more confident in your skills, and less inhibited, you will become more vocal about your preferences, and you won’t even try to fake success. Either you got the job done or not, and maybe sometimes you need to engage in a little show and tell to help out the overall team performance. If it is true that it all goes downhill after 50 (don’t know for sure, thankfully that is a decade away), then for the love of God, make the most of time you have before you start to plateau.
4. Be Smart– I seriously do not understand people like Anthony Weiner or Eliot Spitzer. Momentary lapses of reason can so easily go viral these days in our techie world. I’ve blogged about this before, including my Safe Sexting Tips last month, but I will say it again- screen your partners carefully and watch what you say online especially if you ever want to have security clearance or run for office. Before you share anything, take whatever crap there is and run it through a filter in your head so by the time you post anything is looks like clear drinking water!
Those are my tips for today.