There is a definite difference between guys & girls when it comes to post-divorce dating. Most of my female clients cringe when I mention it, whereas most of my male clients jump right to that issue before I’ve even gotten to the point that dating while you are still married can be a tricky issue legally, let alone emotionally. Why such a stark difference? Well, mainly because women are more likely going to take a bit longer to process their emotions, and the loss associated with the divorce. Guys on the other hand, well let’s just say they are far more apt to look for love in all the wrong places while they sort things out. I’m not knocking the strategy at all– I actually quite understand the need to conquer and rebuild the ego quickly, and to be honest, girls may want to take a page from their book and get back on the scene sooner rather than later.
At whatever rate, and through whatever method you decide to jump back into dating, just be kind to yourself. It is going to take some time to re-learn the art of flirting, especially with all the advances in modern technology. Trial and error is the only way you will find your mojo, but if I can suggest one thing it is that you try to do no harm. Be conscious of where you are, and where others may want you to be. Don’t promise more than what you are capable of and don’t demand more of others than what they can give you at the moment.
We all need to feel human and loved, but navigating the playing field can be tricky. There are a couple of popular blogs I’ve written that are a great intro to dating again:
Dating in the 21st Century;
The Kiss of Death When Dating;
5 Tips to Playing 20 Questions;
The Secret to Surviving the Dating Game;
Safe Sexting; and
Why Smart Women Date Inappropriate Men.
This past week on my tv show, I had psychotherapist Shari Pfeffer cover some tips on how to approach dating in a much healthier, less harmful way for everyone involved. She highly recommends divorced individuals may want to look into a non-profit group called New Beginnings, and I will be featuring this organization in upcoming segment later this year. In the meantime, here is the link to our show on show on conscious dating: