A lot of people believe they have a “type” that they are attracted to when looking for a partner. This may not be such a good idea, however, to limit yourself– especially if those limitations are based on superficial qualities like hair or eye color, a certain fashion style or a person’s career choice. Furthermore, if your friends are starting to hint that your “type” isn’t really working for you, then maybe it is time to take pen to paper (if you are old school like me) or create a list on your smartphone and write down what characteristics you want an ideal partner to have, as well as the top 5 character flaws you cannot tolerate.
The type of person I would ideally like to meet is someone smart, funny, kind, financially responsible and into healthy habits. From this you can glean that my top 5 deal breakers would be someone that is not very intelligent, has a mean streak, is a financial basket case, lacks a sense of humor and doesn’t care about maintaining a healthy lifestyle. With your own list in mind, you can then go forward with a clearer sense of purpose– you are screening for traits that match your must-haves and don’t trigger a visceral reaction by avoiding your list of what you can’t stand.
If you want to successfully date, then you have to view it as a social experiment and go in with an open mind. Meeting new people has always been an exciting adventure for me, and I’ve always felt like I could learn something– good or bad– from each encounter. It is about stepping outside your comfort zone, and testing your capacity for love and understanding of others until one day you find that perfect person– the one that steps into your life and allows you to see why it never worked with anyone else before.
Embrace your curiosity and don’t be afraid of the answers you may hear. When you listen to your heart, it will all make perfect sense. While many will come into your life for a season, or perhaps a specific reason, very few are those bonds that last a lifetime. The more open you are to what the universe presents to you, the more likely you are to reap life’s beautiful rewards.
How will you know when you discover your real type? Because that person will exceed all your expectations. Until that day comes, just enjoy the journey.
By Regina A. DeMeo, Esq.