We’ve all heard that dating is a numbers game, but what does that really mean? It means that to find that perfect someone, you are going to have to cull through a lot of crap. Why? Well, just do the math…
The more you care about looks, smarts, and/or someone’s character, the harder it will be to find a person that meets your criteria. For example, if only 15% of the US population has a graduate degree and that is important to you, that is fine, but you have to realize that you are eliminating 85% of the population in your search. The same logic applies if you are looking for someone that earns over six figures– they are out there, but you are now working with a much smaller percentage of the overall population and so to overcome the odds, you will need to put yourself out there more.
Even once you click with a candidate that happens to be smart, cute and nice enough, there remain many hurdles to face– and you can only figure it out over time. Some key considerations are:
– Is it easy to spend time together?
– Do you trust each other?
– Do you respect this person and the life choices s/he has made?
– Do you enjoy each other’s friends and families?
– Are you sexually compatible?
– Do you resolve conflict well?
– Do you share the same dreams and aspirations?
It is not easy to find someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with, but I think it has to be that way so that when you do find that person you will appreciate him/her that much more– for you know deep within your heart that the odds were highly stacked against you, and yet despite all the odds you found one another.
Don’t let the odds get you down, and don’t give up on finding love. You just need to get out there and be prepared to sort through a lot of hay until you find that needle in a haystack. Once you do, you will feel like the luckiest person in the world, as well you should because it is like winning the lotto– but you have to be willing to play in order to win.
By Regina A. DeMeo, Esq.