I get this question a lot- people always want to know what I think is the number one reason couples split up: is it adultery, money, addiction issues or abuse?  Actually, the answer  is quite simple: Narcissism.

While it is important to know what you want and to advocate for yourself in love and life,  it is equally necessary to learn to balance this out with your partner’s wants and needs if you want a lasting, healthy relationship.  If you take a good look around you, you will see that those that are able to take into account other people’s points of view and empathize with their partners have the best partnerships.

Those that can only focus on their own self-interest may be very successful at work, but I promise you they will struggle immensely in their personal lives.  Those that fail to learn to curb their narcissistic tendencies will always put their desires first at whatever cost to those around them– and so they will focus on work to an extreme, have affairs and/or use money, drugs and alcohol as they please, all while verbally castrating anyone that dares to question their choices.

We all have narcissistic tendencies, but hopefully as we mature in life we learn to curb these tendencies, and as parents we have to do our best to teach our children to do this– especially if we want them to have happy and healthy relationships that last when they grow up.

Love is about give and take.  Those that just want to take are actually going to miss out on a lot, especially when it comes to love.  Of that, I have no doubt.

Here’s a link to great tv interview on this topic:


By Regina A. DeMeo, Esq.