We all have a weak spot, that is what makes us human. Sometimes we see them clearly, but other times we may be blinded by our emotions, which is when we must accept help from others to face those fears we cannot face alone. Here are the 4 most common ones I see while helping people through a divorce:
1. Money– A lot of people worry about money, either they are not good money managers or maybe they are and yet they live in fear of not having enough. No matter what your issue is with money, the point is you have to face it head on, and if you need help balancing a budget or finding the right number that will help you feel safe, then get the advice of a financial planner. Don’t just ignore the issue and hope it goes away, that simply doesn’t work.
2. Time– Many people complain about not having enough time to do everything they need to do, but perhaps this is really an issue about not making the right choices. We each have to learn to balance various interests and not over-commit ourselves. It is all about identifying priorities and sticking to them. Talk to a life coach if time management is truly overwhelming for you, and try to embrace the word “no” a little more into your vocabulary.
3. Relationships– Establishing new ties and re-negotiating old ones is a work in progress for everyone. We all have to re-assess our commitments to family and friends whenever there is a change to the status quo. Births, marriages, deaths and divorce all disrupt our family structures, and navigating through the sea of emotions alone is simply not humanly possible– this is when you need the support of a neutral friend or expert to let you vent, problem-solve and help you mourn the losses and appreciate the gains that always accompany a major change to the family unit.
4. Kids– This is definitely a tough one for any parent– we all love our kids and want to keep them safe and happy, but at the same time we cannot allow ourselves to go into financial ruin to provide them with everything their hearts desire. If we are going raise responsible citizens, then we have to model for them the behaviors that will be expected of them as adults and encourage those traits in them at an early age– especially gratitude, humility and respect for others because without these qualities, there is no doubt they will struggle in all future relationships outside the home.
Before it is too late and you get hit with a fatal blow from life, ask yourself what is your weak spot? Whatever it is, don’t run from it, but instead look at this challenge as an opportunity to improve and become stronger. And remember, no one expects you to do this alone.
By Regina A. DeMeo, Esq.