Dating later in life is always full of challenges for my divorced clients. First, there is the need to get up to speed on the rules of the game if they’ve been out of the dating pool for over 7 years (which is the timeframe when about 50% of divorces occur.) Second, there are often logistical issues to contend with like coordinating schedules if either of you have kids from prior relationships, or commuting issues, unless you happen to live in the same zip code. Third, there is the hurdle of finding a way to properly invest your time and money in this endeavor realizing that both are especially limited commodities for those juggling the responsibilities of raising kids while working and managing a single-parent household. Now throw a global pandemic into the mix, and you can see that dating in 2020 is not going to be easy for sure.
And yet, those that are committed to finding love again will make the effort. Like the saying goes: where there is a will, there is a way. Various sources are reporting that online dating is quite active these days, despite COVID-19, and while stay at home orders have been in effect lots of people have availed themselves of modern technology, including via video chats and Zoom dinners to meet other singles out there. Perhaps the silver lining to this crisis, at least in dating is that due to our limited ability to go out, people are actually engaging in more meaningful discussions upfront about their core values, as well as their dreams and aspirations. As one of my wise friends pointed out a while ago, “a real relationship is in the being, not the doing.”
For many of us, 20 questions can be a great form of entertainment, but are you doing it in a mindful way? The point is to map (1)where someone has been, (2) where they are currently, and (3) where are they heading? Ideally, the goal should be to find a mate that appreciates how far you have come in your journey, and aligns with your vision for the future. Finding the right match takes patience and time, and while some of us might take a more laid back approach to this process, there are others that don’t wish to waste time on their mission to meet their life partner. For the latter type, the opportunity to work with a dating coach might be the best solution.
Here is a recent interview I did with Amy Schoen, founder of Motivated to Marry, and an experienced dating coach in the DC Area, who shares some great tips for those interested in getting remarried or finding a serious long-term relationship: