There seems to be a major disconnect between what guys think professional women in their 30’s want, and what professional women in their 30’s actually expect from men. So, without turning over the complete playbook, in the spirit of helping bridge the gap, let me share 5 helpful tips:
1. Chivalry Should Not Be Dead– We all know that women are graduating at the same, if not greater rates than their male counterparts in most colleges and graduate schools. Also, thanks to Title IX, we can play any sport we want. Of course we can open our own doors, and pay for our own drinks, but that does not mean we should on a date. When we are “off the clock” most of us actually want the guy to drive, open the doors, say something nice about what we are wearing, pay for the first few dates, and yes, make the first move.
2. Plan Ahead– Those of us with intense jobs tend to have crazy schedules. So, last minute offers to meet up may just not work, not that we don’t want them to, it is simply that it is not possible.
3. Communication is Key– If someone is used to a fast-pace situation during the day, it usually means that this carries through outside of work. In other words, waiting days to respond to an email, going MIA (“Missing In Action”) for a week, or never responding to a text, is just not going to go over well. Furthermore, after a date, most of us still believe it is the guy’s duty to send a follow up message.
4. Honesty is the Best Policy– Don’t try to sugarcoat things with us. Remember, to prove ourselves in the academic and professional world, we have learned to roll with the punches. If you want something casual, just say it. If you want to keep your options open for awhile, no one should fault you for that. If things are not working out for you, we may be willing to try and work on things, or we may agree that it is best to just move on.
5. More than Just Eye Candy- Most women appreciate being admired for their beauty, but professional women also want recognition for their brains. It is hard to keep conversations “light and fluffy”; it is just not what made us who we are- rather it is precisely our ability to talk about books, politics, religion, individual rights, and public policies that have shaped our careers and lives. For this very reason, few of us can tolerate dating guys that can’t go deep on these topics, or who just want a trophy wife.
By Regina A. DeMeo, Esq.