This week, the Huffington Post released an article about the importance of sex in a marriage, and the author highly recommends 4 times a week as a healthy frequency. Another report I read a few months ago talks about the need to spend 42 minutes being intimate with your partner. Meanwhile, my guest on yesterday’s tv show emphasized the need to spend at least 30 minutes per day of quality time with your kids, and then another 30 minutes just for the couple. Do the actual minutes matter? Probably not as much as the concept the you need to make time on a regular basis to connect with your family and not just take each other for granted.
When discussing these recommendations with others, I find it hilarious to see how different people react. Many people start to argue that it just isn’t possible to have regular and frequent intimacy when you have kids; others want to negotiate on the amount of time; some jokingly ask me if the clock starts ticking when you pour that first glass of wine! Seriously, I would like to put it all in perspective– we spend at least 40 hours a week at work, if not more; another 50 hours sleeping (hopefully). Is it really that hard to carve out 7 hours a week for your family– 3.5 for your kids and another 3.5 for your partner/spouse?
Few of us will be remembered for our work efforts, and none of us will be remembered for getting some shut eye, but the ones who love you and will carry on your legacy are the ones that get the least amount of your time. If you look at it that way, making time for the ones you love should not be a hardship at all. Relationships are a labor of love– enjoy the labor and you will reap rewards far beyond the instant gratfication of those 42 minutes in bed!