After the holidays, lots of people ask themselves this question: should I stay or should I go? Honestly, if you are asking this question don’t you think that is a huge red flag? Now I know that we all have different tolerance levels and definitions for what is unacceptable, but I am a big fan of going with your gut and sticking to the rule of 3 strikes, you’re out. Here are my top 3 indicators someone is striking out:
1. If you have to convince yourself that someone is “right” for you, that is not a good sign. Honestly, there are better things to analyze than a pros vs. cons list of why you should stick it out with someone.
2. If you have to make excuses for why this person may not be the best at showing his/her affection, that is just crap.
3. If you constantly have to decipher the message someone is trying to convey, clearly you are not communicating easily or well.
When you find yourself getting upset on a repeated basis, and then you have to calm yourself down because the other person doesn’t even know what is the right thing to say or do, it is time to go.
It’s not that one person is necessarily a douche bag, or the other one is a nut job, it’s just that those two are a bad match. No point in psycho-analyzing this situation to death, it’s actually quite simple: this is just not working out.
We all have baggage, and no one should have to make any apologies for the way s/he is wired or what s/he expects in a relationship. Either someone can step up, or they can step aside. No hard feelings– because more than likely someone better will come along.
Final piece of advice– no need to give a detailed explanation. Your “constructive criticism” is simply going to fall on deaf ears, so just spare your breath. The final goal is just to exit gracefully with your dignity intact.
Hope this helps those of you pondering whether you should stay or go. And if you do decide to go, just one more thing– don’t look back. Move on to the next chapter in your life, and leave the past behind you!
By Regina A. DeMeo, Esq.