To me, it seems rather obvious how you win a girl over, and it is equally clear why so many guys fail. Too many men continue to bank on being cute, smart, and decent providers. While this may be a good start, there is one requirement many seem to overlook: you have to prove that you are a decent human being. How do you do that? Hmm, let me count the ways…
1. Trust– Are you a man of your word? Can you be loyal? Do you follow through with your promises? Do your actions match your words? If you say what you mean, and mean what you say, that is how you build trust. Sadly, if you betray someone’s trust, I don’t see how there is any way to remedy that.
2. Respect– This is not something you can command, it’s something you earn over time. Do you exhibit good manners? Are you wise, yet gracious? Have you demonstrated good judgment in your life decisions? Many have lost my respect by showing poor manners, arrogance and/or poor judgment, and the biggest problem with that is once you lose someone’s respect, it is nearly impossible to gain it back.
3. Safety– The importance of creating a safe environment cannot be understated. Generally speaking we have to accept that men are physically stronger that women, and as a result we need to feel secure in order to show men our most vulnerable side. Emotionally, women need to feel that they can count on their partners to be supportive, helpful and caring. Aside from avoiding threats and preventing outside chaos from bleeding into the relationship, we need to know that our male partners will follow up on a regular basis and demonstrate concern for our well being. If a guy fails to provide us with that feeling of safety, it’s game over.
Let’s be honest, women in the 20th century had huge social and economic pressures to marry, and back then guys got away with a lot– just think of JFK as the perfect example. Although today, the median income for a woman remains incredibly low (it’s about $37,000 as of 2012) the fact is more and more of us are earning advanced degrees and outperforming our male colleagues, and in the process we have raised the bar considerably as to what we expect from our male partners– so the way you conduct yourself and the choices you make in life are far more important now than ever before.
The bottom line is this: it is a man’s character, not his wallet, that will win over the educated, self-sufficient, modern women of the 21st century. So, plain and simple– the key to our hearts is attainable, if you can prove that you are trustworthy, deserve respect and can make us feel safe. Many will try and few will succeed, and maybe now you can understand why.
By Regina A. DeMeo, Esq.