While preparing for my lecture next week on Relationships in the 21st century, I cannot ignore how many have enjoyed past blogs with tips on dealing with break-ups and getting over a broken heart.  I do think this is one human experience that we all share in common, and that is why I am especially grateful to all the amazing singers out there that pour their heart and souls into their love songs, which provide me with so much inspiration.  Right now, I admit it’s actually Jason Derulo’s “Talk Dirty” that has me going, so just imagine that in the background as you read on…

Those getting back into the game after a hiatus often wonder how do you make the switch after 35 from the role of mother and wife (or father and husband) to sex object in today’s world, and I promise you it can be done, you just have to find the right motivation.  Hopefully some of these tips for transitioning back will help you find your mojo:

1. Listen to Music– Why? Because it’s soothing, and when you listen to the lyrics out there you won’t feel so alone– we’ve all loved and lost, it is a part of life.  Not only will you feel in good company, but you should soon start to realize there is great power in how these artists often take their greatest source of pain and turn it into something beautiful.  Personally, I’m a big fan of rap/hip hop because these modern day poets take truly gritty situations and turn them into lyrics that cut right to the core of our hearts.  I bow down to these masters, who have often overcome so much to get to where they are today.

2. Clean Those Closets–  If you are going to get back out there, go through your closet and throw out those granny panties or boxers from college. Seriously, you can revamp your wardrobe without going broke, but splurge a little and pick out a few things that will make you feel good.

3. Hit the Gym– This is not just a great way to stay in shape and reduce stress, it’s that amazing release of chemicals in our brain that I want you to enjoy.  Working out gives you a great natural high, will boost your self-esteem and it’s far safer than the artificial crap out there.

4. Find a Good Lover– This is not meant to be a soulmate– no I was very precise with my word choice.  I highly recommend first finding someone that will totally adore you– nothing boosts your ego faster than having someone that will put you on a pedestal.  Sure this will grow old after a while, and then maybe you should move onto a PYT (Pretty Young Thing).  Again, this arrangement will lift your spirits like nobody’s business, but the shelf life may not be very long.  Then moving right along, go find that skilled lover, this one knows what s/he is doing and has mastered the art of making love.  I’m not saying fall in love with him/her, just enjoy a little hedonism for a while.

Bottom line is that it is all a mind-game.  To find your sexy, you need to master your own thoughts and believe in yourself– that you are worth all that & a bag of chips.  Just think of the lyrics from “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred and go work it.  Like they say, flaunt it while you’ve got it– that is how you get your sexy back!