I’m not a big fan of labels, and so let me just pose this question upfront- if you are in the dating game, then aren’t you a player? Perhaps in ancient times “players” were men (like Mr. Casanova), who unabashedly chased women, but hello we are in the 21st century now and there are plenty of assertive women these days, who have no problem approaching men and negotiating deals to meet certain needs without ever developing an emotional attachment. So, to be perfectly blunt anyone who equates physical intimacy with emotional intimacy is an idiot in today’s world.
We all have different goals and not everyone is playing by the same set of rules, which indeed makes the dating world very complicated, but one thing is for sure– at the end of the day each one of us that opts to be in the market is looking for something, until one day the stars happen to align and you find someone worthy of your undivided attention.
Those that like the game and keeping their options open may never settle down. Some might think these are commitment phobes, while others may consider these enlightened ones smart enough to avoid the old “ball and chain” married lifestyle. Honestly, I don’t see the need to pass judgment, but more importantly, I want to make sure you don’t delude yourself into thinking that because you really like someone you are going to be able to make him/her commit. A true player cannot be tamed– unless s/he chooses to surrender of his/her own accord.
While the idea of a settled, comfortable life is quite endearing to some, there are those that find the notion of settling down quite repulsive. Someone who enjoys life, and has many passions, seeks excitement and the idea of being trapped is simply unbearable. This type of person is only going to commit to someone that is willing to seek adventures together and can ride the roller coaster of life. It is a playmate with a kindred spirit that will tame a true “player,” and so you should not take it personally if that just doesn’t fit your lifestyle and goals.
Each one of us seeks something out of life, and someone to share it with, but no one should ever try to impose his/her agenda or will on another human being. We were each born with the freedom of choice, and above all else the freedom to choose our life partner is a defining moment in life. When and if that moment happens that you encounter someone that leaves you no doubt it is time to exit the games, it won’t seem like a sacrifice at all. You will do it willingly, easily, and with absolute humility for you will realize that you have met your match. It is that checkmate moment– and it should feel magical.