Usually, those people that are motivated to re-marry do so within 2-5 years of their divorce, but alas not all of us feel the need to tie the knot so quickly after being burned– especially, when your vision of a life happily ever after goes up in flames.  It’s okay to take your time and mend your broken heart before you go in search of love again.  And while you are at it, here are some changes you may want to consider:

1. Physical Health– How comfortable are you with your own body?  If you want to lose weight or tone your muscles, change your workout or maybe even get some medical intervention to fix things you don’t like about yourself, go do it!  Focus on yourself for a bit, and don’t feel guilty about it.  The great thing about setting physical goals is that within a short period of time you can really start to see results, and this will boost your spirits greatly.  The undisputed fact is the more positive your energy is, the faster you will recover from whatever heart break or disappointment comes your way.

2. Intellectual Stimulation– Are you bored at work or at home?  Having a great mind is a gift you should not squander.  We all suffer lulls either at home or at our jobs, but rather than allow your brain to just atrophy find something new to learn and challenge yourself.  Learn a new language online or in a classroom, sign up for continuing education courses that will either help you advance in your career or maybe assist you with changing jobs.  Or maybe it would be fun to teach? Volunteering to teach kids is a great way to give back and connect with your community, and the questions they ask are so insightful.

3.Emotional Intelligence– I’ve met a lot of brilliant people with the emotional IQ of a pea.  Seriously, there is not a single person I know that can claim to have mastered emotional intelligence, and that is because it is a work in progress, and we are all constantly learning as we react to different environments, experiences and life challenges.  There are tons of great life coaches for one-on one sessions, seminars for those seeking a group setting, or there is always the library (or internet) full of books on psychology and spirituality.

Awareness of your mind, body and soul is key.  Even if you are not religious, it should be obvious why this is considered the holy trilogy: to find harmony, all three areas must be engaged.

Over the past decade, I’m not going to lie, I spent a lot of time in the gym– mainly to stay sane while juggling work, parenthood and the Dating Game, but overtime I did change the focus of my workouts, and now they are much less aggressive (like kick-boxing) and much more about preserving strength and flexibility (thanks to yoga).  I’ve also lost count of how many classes and books I have read not just to advance my career but to improve my social IQ, and the proof of those results can easily be verified by my CV.  But each journey is different, one size does not fit all.

So my message today is that you should find your own path.  Don’t sit back and just wait for Prince Charming to come knocking on your door and make magic happen.  Go out there and live your life to the max!  Be the change you want to see in you— and keep working on your mind, your body and your soul.

By Regina A. DeMeo, Esq.