After a decade of being single, I’ve been reflecting a lot on what I have enjoyed most about being on my own the last 10 years, and here is what I have so far:
1. You wake up and go to sleep when you want to, without anyone else disturbing you;
2. You eat what you want, when you want;
3. You spend what you want on whatever you want;
4. You make your own plans on your free-time;
5. You can be as neat or as messy as you want to be at home;
6. You never wake up surprised that your favorite snack/drink is gone from the fridge;
7. You can plan whatever trips you like without the need to compromise; and
8. There are no arguments at the end of the day– just peace and quiet.
Now while all of this may resonate with many and sound great, let’s be realistic– there is a reason why about 80% of Americans get married, and I highly doubt the motivating factor for most is to have kids or gain financial security. The truth is that life can be much sweeter when you have someone special by your side. If I am completely honest with myself and all of you, for the past decade, that special person has been my son. He filled a void for me that would otherwise have been unbearable.
I realize that many in the single scene either fall into the category of “empty nesters” or have not yet started a family, and so they will not be able to cope with the Dating Game the way I did the past 10 years, and for those my advice would be to find some other way to fill your emotional tank with love and joy. The game itself does suck, that is just a fact– it is full of people with different (sometimes quite dishonorable) agendas, and there is a lot of rejection and disappointment that you will have to endure until you find that right fit. But quitting is not an option unless you are prepared to live a life in isolation. So, you must persevere creating almost a Teflon coating over your heart so that all the outrageous insults and injuries you may endure do not stick to you as you continue moving forward playing 20 questions with as much dignity, integrity and grace you can muster.
By Regina A. DeMeo, Esq.