When you have suffered some unfortunate setbacks in past personal relationships, it is normal to feel a bit anxious about making another mistake, and to carry with you some sadness from the losses already suffered. These two things combined can lead someone to become a bit of a commitment phobe. Signs that this is happening will be readily apparent to those around you, who will find you are routinely testing limits. Once you can recognize this behavior in yourself, if you want to make a change, there is hope to modify this self-destructive behavior. We all have concerns, but in order to address them, we first need to identify them. I find lists really helpful, and they are often a great reminder that I am not deviating from my intended mission. Knowing exactly what qualities I appreciate in someone is a good reassurance that I am not making some crazy decisions based solely on emotions. After you have done this, ask yourself 3 questions: (1) do I trust this person?(2) do I respect this individual?(3) do I see us together 6 months from now? Assuming the answer to all three questions is positive, then only you can work on calming yourself down and allowing yourself to enjoy the ride. If you can't answer these questions positively, you have to figure out [...]

Today I got to weigh in on the radio about Brad Pitt's recent engagement to Angelina Jolie. Time always runs short, and there is so much that we did not get to cover, but what I found most interesting about their desire to marry was that they realized this is something that really mattered to their children. Until now, they are part of the 40% or more of children in the U.S. whose parents are NOT married. While we as adults may not think this matters so much, clearly it can and does have an impact on our children.What does marriage really mean? With divorce rates so high these days, and so many states denying this right to gay couples, many adults minimalize the importance of a piece of paper that certifies you are now officially recognized as a committed couple. But the fact is, it does mean something to be married-- to say that of all the people in the world, this is the person you have chosen as your partner, and that you want to stay with until death do you part. Now, it may not work out that way, but expressing publicly that profound depth of your love is an amazing statement that about 80% of Americans will chose to make at one point in their lives. [...]

This past weekend, I had the honor of attending an Andover/Abbot event at the Cosmos Club in DC. It was very interesting to hear the varying perspectives of women that graduated from the '50s through the present. One thing everyone agreed on was that the educational opportunities, coupled with the friendships formed during those formative years in boarding school, have served them well in life. The importance of pursuing excellence was also a common theme, which of course, has left me wondering how often this blessing may also be a curse...When you grow up surrounded by over-achievers, all striving to be the best, that becomes all you know, and yet most people are NOT wired that way. When all you want is perfection, and no one teaches you that the majority are just hoping to get by making a decent living at work so they can enjoy their time off the clock, you wind up having a rude awakening when you leave the Ivy League towers and enter the real world. Life is full of imperfections, and those not taught to appreciate that early on, are going to have a hard time adjusting-- both professionally and personally.The best life lessons are sometimes learned from our mistakes, and not our successes. In the last few years, when all has not turned [...]