From as far back as I can remember, the pressure was always there to get good grades, get into good schools, build a good resume, then get a good job. Many seem to think this is the perfect formula to a happy life. Well, let me say flat out-- it is not. The pressure to perform doesn't end, it just keeps building. The more money, the more stress-- and as I have repeatedly mentioned, lots of people lack good coping mechanisms for all this stress, which is how they wind up needing my assistance with a divorce.In the end, few of us will be remembered for what we did at work. Bankers, lawyers, doctors, are all a dime a dozen and firms will always believe that anyone can be replaced. Yet, what people will remember most are the acts of kindness and relationships we formed while we here. Just this week I realized that the most gratifying moments were being able to come through for my step-brother and son. Making time to help them both and spend quality time were the most satisfying moments of this week-- not the huge court win (although that was a nice bonus).An old friend from high school was shocked to learn about my "Jerry Maguire" moment at work this summer. He never saw that [...]

Last week, I went to a seminar for women in business, and suprisingly a great deal of time was spent talking about happiness and fulfillment. Various lecturers emphasized the need for balance in life and the importance of being self aware. Among the best recommendations I heard was the need for a periodic internal audit. To find joy in our work, most of us need to believe it is meaningful and that we are connecting with others. To feel engaged and energized, we have to get both emotional and intellectual stimulation. If we are missing these things at work, we need to come up with new strategies to obtain these key elements in order to truly succeed. This all seems so simple, but when my clients are encountering multiple challenges at once it is hard for them to focus and find clarity. When people are hit with a mid-life or existential crisis, they may need help figuring out the path they should take to get to a better place. Increasingly, people are relying on life or career coaches to help them identify the problem areas in life and find a happier path. These professionals actually graph out areas of life that a person may want or need to address in order to get to a happier point in their lives. [...]

As a little girl, I did not understand why they would encourage us to "turn the other cheek" when someone did something hurtful, and I hated the saying that if we all believed in "an eye for an eye, then we would all be blind." Growing up in NYC during the 70's and 80's, if you could not stand up for yourself, you were in big trouble. What I lacked in size, I made up for with a sharp tongue. But as time wore on, I came to see the flaws in this approach.I have probably now seen over 1,000 bad break-ups as a divorce lawyer, and as a result I have witnessed many people at some of the lowest points in their lives. When they are angry, afraid or insecure they tend to lash out at the other party. It really does take a strong person to walk away from the bait and instead take the high road. The alterative, however, is to get sucked into a vicious cycle that isn't productive for anyone.Moving on is never easy, and turning the other cheek does take a strong character. Yet every day I see people tapping into their inner strength to avoid being consumed by ugly and unnecessary battles. Some need a little help to make this tough choice, and [...]

For years I have tried to warn my clients that the courts can make mistakes, and that sometimes those errors can have dire consequences that last for generations. Little did I realize that I would become the best living proof of that statement, until this year. In 1978, a Florida court found insufficient evidence to support a finding of paternity. As a result, I grew up without a father, uncle, cousins or any siblings. My son, who was born decades later, would still have been impacted by this erroneous court order-- except for one thing, I refused to let that happen.In 2011, using all the mediation and collaborative skills that I have acquired over the last several years, I went in search of some answers. Seeking to simply understand what happened back in 1978, without passing any judgment and having zero expectations of what may transpire, I made contact with my alleged father. We eventually took a DNA test, which confirmed that the court's decision was in fact wrong. This weekend, Bethesda Magazine released a story "Finding Family," which summarizes my journey over the past year to piece together a family that has been torn apart for decades by nasty litigation. It is not a coincidence that as this story was unfolding I decided to resign from a firm that [...]