As a little girl, I did not understand why they would encourage us to “turn the other cheek” when someone did something hurtful, and I hated the saying that if we all believed in “an eye for an eye, then we would all be blind.” Growing up in NYC during the 70’s and 80’s, if you could not stand up for yourself, you were in big trouble. What I lacked in size, I made up for with a sharp tongue. But as time wore on, I came to see the flaws in this approach.

I have probably now seen over 1,000 bad break-ups as a divorce lawyer, and as a result I have witnessed many people at some of the lowest points in their lives. When they are angry, afraid or insecure they tend to lash out at the other party. It really does take a strong person to walk away from the bait and instead take the high road. The alterative, however, is to get sucked into a vicious cycle that isn’t productive for anyone.

Moving on is never easy, and turning the other cheek does take a strong character. Yet every day I see people tapping into their inner strength to avoid being consumed by ugly and unnecessary battles. Some need a little help to make this tough choice, and that is completely normal– we all need a guide at some point in our lives to help us navigate difficult paths. I’ve had many wonderful guides in my own life, and I am a firm believer in paying it forward.