Unless you are a child, whose every possible needs and wants are taken care of, everyone worries about something. As young adults, most of us worry about our grades, whether we are choosing the right career, or if we will find a good partner to create a stable family with us. Then, starting in your mid-30’s just when you think the big worries should be over after hitting all the right benchmarks, the really difficult questions start popping up:
(1) Finances– Are you making enough money to live comfortably? Have you saved enough? Are you satisfied with your career, or is it not all you thought it would be? These are all good questions, and you need to find the answers to them now, not later. It is normal to worry about money if you are GenX or a Millennial because unlike our parents, we haven’t grown up in an era that believes in guaranteed pensions, Medicare or Social Security, and we actually aren’t even sure if our kids will have a better life than us.
(2) Aging– Are you coming to terms with your fading youth? Let’s face it, by mid-30’s we all start to see our metabolisms slow down, as our hair starts to gray, and little lines slowly start to appear on our faces. Some of our peers and our elders for sure are developing health issues; meanwhile, for women, our child-bearing years are coming to an end, and for those who have not found the right person to have a child with, now is the time to look into other options including fertility treatments and adoption, if you can see yourself as a single parent.
(3) Relationships– Are you satisfied with your personal relationships? If not, now is the time to implement some changes. Start by working on yourself– what are your real needs and wants? Do you make those known clearly? Do you compromise too much, or not enough? Where is it that you can improve? As you start to change, just keep in mind that many will resist any alterations to the status quo. Don’t run from the friction, face it– and teach your kids to do the same. Lasting relationships are meant to evolve, those that do not become extinct.
When tackling these difficult issues, it helps to know that you are not alone. Whether rich or poor, famous or not, all of us will grapple with these challenging subjects. Just don’t ignore the problems or try to slug through any of them on your own because a small worry can easily grow into something bigger than it needs to be, and if you let yourself become filled with dread you will soon find yourself totally paralyzed with fear, and that is exactly how someone can become stuck in a hopeless situation, unable to see anyway out.
It is normal to worry, and unless you are from Mars, I’m betting that if you take a good look around, you will find plenty others that share your pain. You just cannot let fear set in and lose hope in finding a solution. Talking with others, and working collaboratively with experts, I am confident you can find ways to ease your worries.
By Regina A. DeMeo, Esq.