It is hard to believe how much can transpire in just one year. This same time last year, while putting away my holiday decorations, I came across my uncle's business card, which he had given to me 20 years ago when we first met. Who could have ever guessed that after all these years I'd saved that card, that his restaurant would still be open, and that he would still be working there? Last year when I reached out to my uncle, I was essentially an orphan. I had no idea if my father was even alive or if any of his relatives would be open to meeting with me. The fact that everything worked out the way it did, and that we could all spend our first family Christmas together is nothing short of a miracle in my eyes, and I am so glad my uncle lived to see his amazing act of kindness come to fruition.Obviously I cannot predict what will happen in the case of others that might decide to go in search of their biological parents or reach out to some estranged family members, and I am certainly not trying to provide false hope by sharing my story. The point I want to make, at least for today, is that a lot can change in just [...]

The February 2012 issue of Psychology Today has the best cover-- with a bride holding hands with a chimpanzee. The feature article by Rebecca Webber is entitled "Are You With the Right Mate?" She does a great job of explaining that it is quite natural at some point in every marriage to question whether you made the right choice. Sooner or later the honeymoon period will end, and that cocaine-like high stemming from infatuation will fade-- that is when reality sinks in. When that moment hits, having realistic expectations is truly key. As Ms. Webber explains in her article, it is not possible for one person to have all their needs met by simply one relationship. While it is essential to share core values, it is actually quite healthy to have some different interests. Respecting each other's need for personal space and time with others is an important skill to making marriages last. Happily ever after does not mean you have to be together 24/7, in fact I see that as a recipe for disaster.The best quote in the article (in my opinion) is the following: "Marriage is not about finding the right person. It's about becoming the right person." Learning to communicate, express disappointment appropriately, resolve conflict and adjust our own expectations is a work in progress, and it [...]

In March, I will be giving a presentation on forgiveness. For those that have followed my story over the past year, it might seem like I am an incredibly forgiving person, but I certainly would not describe myself that way. I have always believed, however, in trying to live without carrying any regrets.In a competitive environment, it is simply natural that colleagues will not always rally to give someone proper credit for their endeavors. Faced with economic challenges, companies will generally focus on bottom lines and ignore the human element in their decisions. Friends that may become too busy in their own lives may fade out of yours, or perhaps more high maintenance ones will resent you when you become less available for whatever reason. Even our own relatives that do not know how to properly express disappointment or frustration may act out in a way that might force you to cease all further contact. These are all unfortunately quite common occurences in life, and in order for us to move on without regret, we need to find a way to forgive-- it is really just a question of degree.I have learned throughout the years that I can quite easily forgive someone a minor transgression and continue with the relationship exactly in the same way. There are other transgressions, however, [...]