Throughout the years, I have heard from others that they have really benefited from going to AA meetings, group therapy, or workshops for different reasons. I had never experienced anything like this really-- until today. I went to a parenting class taught by a psychologist, who provided tips for more effective ways we can get our children to listen to us. One of the interesting theories she proposed was that part of the problem so many of us are finding it so challenging these days to parent our kids is that the way we were raised, primarily under an authoritarian model, no longer works. Being incredibly permissive does not work either, and vacilating between the two styles is just too confusing and ineffective. Her suggestion was to adopt a more democratic style of parenting, where the children are given limited choices appropriate with their ages, and that this way they feel empowered and respected while being guided in the right direction.There are obviously many books out there about parenting and articles that we can all easily access, but the beauty of this class setting was that when people started to ask questions and share their stories, we all started to nod and laugh in a way that made us all connect, even if just for that one hour. In that [...]

I have to admit, I still have my wedding dress. Six years post-divorce, and I have somehow not managed to get rid of this thing! The dress is now so old that the charity Brides Against Cancer will not take it-- they only re-sell dresses that are from 2005 or later. Donating a dress made of Italian lace with silk that cost over $1000 requires some careful consideration, and although I thought about holding on to it for my family's sake, what are the chances that anyone will want to wear a dress from a wedding that ended in a divorce?So today I was reading about a book that is coming out soon-- 101 Things To Do With My Ex-Wife's Wedding Dress. This guy has a blog, and it has some pretty hilarious pictures of what he did with the dress after his wife moved out! Let's just say, the dress is no longer in any condition to be donated anywhere-- except maybe as filling for a punching bag. What struck me was his ability to find humor in what must have once been a very painful situation. It is really a healthy sign when we can laugh at some of the crap that hits us in life, and his ability to laugh and find love again is truly inspiring.Thanks [...]

For some time now I have been polling people as to what they think makes someone a good spouse, and there are definitely some traits we all seem to look for in a partner. What struck me about these common characteristics that we are seeking in our mates is that very few of them are innate. In fact, most of these skills need to be taught to us by our family or friends in our early, formative years. Here are some examples of what we most want to find in our significant others:1. Someone who is considerate. 2. Someone who can listen well. 3. Someone who can effectively communicate.4. Someone who can compromise. 5. Someone who is able to show his/her affection.6. Someone who is responsible and trustworthy.7. Someone with an upbeat personality.8. Someone you like spending time with.9. Someone who wants to create a stable home environment.As adults, we will face many challenges in life. Having a rock that can keep us grounded when everything else seems out of control is a key survival tool. As parents, we need to ensure that we teach our children the skills to form solid relationships, because the fact is that we will not always be there for them, and they need to be able to bond with others. They need to be [...]