Whether parents are living in one household, or two separate households, they need to work together as much as possible to provide their children with consistency and stability, especially during their formative years. Looking at parenting in 3 different stages may make the road ahead less daunting, so I encourage my clients to consider adopting the following attitude:1) Ages 0-7 will be very tough-- these children are incredibly needy. The rely on their parents for almost everything-- they need help eating, going to the bathroom, bathing, getting dressed, etc. It takes twice as long to do anything, and the stress can be overwhelming at times, depending on the personalities involved. For those of us that are very schedule-oriented to be paired with a child that has no concept of time, learning patience will be a key survival skill. These years are also very expensvie for a family, as you deal with diapers, formula, baby food and child care expenses. Pre-schools in the DC Area can run $20,000-$30,000 for one child alone.2) Ages 7-14, often referred to as the "Golden Years" hopefully will offer a lot of parents a much needed reprieve, both financially and in terms of workload. During these years, children are much more self sufficient, but usually not yet questioning authority. Their personalities shine and the conversations become [...]

Being a single parent is not easy at any age, but definitely for people with children under 6, it is incredibly difficult to manage one's life while having to worry about a child's every move when they are with you. Dealing with children who cannot eat, go potty or entertain themselves without you is exhausting, and if you do not have a partner to tag-team with you, these duties can be overwhelming. After a child has gained the ability to be somewhat self-sufficient, life does get somewhat easier, but it makes all the difference in the world if you have understanding co-workers, friends, and family that can sympathize with the challenges of being a single parent. As I look back at that last six years, I think organization was my salvation. Having plans provided us both with things to look forward to such as sporting events, the theater, museums, trips to the beach, amusement parks, New York City or Disney. The key is not to be too rigid with plans because things always come up with kids, and they actually need some down time. Everything is so new to them, and letting them process is important to avoid overload. It also takes the pressure off as a parent if you can allow yourself some unstructured time. Some of my best [...]

I am not much of a golfer, but I will admit that whenever I have gone to the driving range or played a round of golf, it is that one perfect "ping" sound that leads to a perfect shot that keeps me hooked. Talking to one of my married friends recently, he was lamenting about all of life's complications, especially with all the economic pressures these days added on to the already difficult balancing act between work, family and friends. Jokingly he said, "it's probably only really all good about 20% of the time, but boy do I live for that 20%." That is exactly the right attitude to carry you through married life!Married life is so complicated-- you have two separate individuals, with different wants and needs, now trying to work together to build a home and family. We all have different triggers and cope with stress differently, but when you are under one roof, it is not so easy to walk away, find your own space, and get some alone time to decompress-- especially when you have kids that demand your attention once you get home from work. But we are all so good at putting on appearances, that whenever you run into other couples you think their life is so perfect, and you wonder what they are [...]