Like it or not, we all get ranked throughout life.  Starting early on as athletes and scholars, long before we ever start our professional careers, the powers that be start tracking those of us considered to be the elite competitors, and while there are certainly some sweet rewards for being a top performer, what they don’t tell you and you just learn over time is that it is all actually quite meaningless– unless you have someone special to share in your struggles and rejoice in your triumphs.

To truly feel like a rock star, the truth is that you actually have to find love first.  Ironically, the more focused you are in seeking perfection and pursuing of all those trophies, ribbons, awards and prizes out there, the harder it is to find someone that can understand you and relate, and in the meantime what you will encounter is a lot of envy and jealousy, along with a ton of users and fair-weather friends.  The sad reality is that the higher you climb up the ladder, the harder it will actually be to find someone that actually respects you and loves you regardless of whether you are on fire or in a slump, but believe me it is totally worth holding out for this.

How do you know when somebody truly loves you?  It should be super easy to tell because they will have an incredible ability to make you feel special, and in your heart of hearts you will know beyond question that this person thinks the world of you.  Without any effort, you will find yourselves just checking in with each other every day, and neither of you will have any doubt that the other one cares deeply about you.  You will both go out of your way to make each other’s life just a little bit easier and more pleasant.  You will take pleasure in both the extraordinary events and daily rituals you enjoy together.  And, with each little act of kindness, you will demonstrate to one another on a daily basis that you are a priority in each other’s life.  As a result, as each day passes you will grow fonder and fonder of this person, who will take you to a whole new level of connection that you never imagined possible.   It will seem as though that person was made just for you, and finally together you have found heaven on earth.

Finding a love that transcends this world is not easy, but when you develop a deep mutual bond with someone that loves you without limits, you will always feel like #1 regardless of where you may rank in the outside world.   The external validation will cease to be as important as it once was because you will see just how fickle the adoration from outsiders can be compared to the consistent love and admiration provided at home by your beloved, who will show you endless compassion without passing any judgments.  When you find this person, you will instantly understand why it never worked out with anyone else, and you will feel inspired to do anything and everything to protect this special bond– and you should.

Ultimately, where you rank anywhere else really won’t matter once you find that one person that thinks you are the best no matter what.  Here’s hoping you find that special someone because as my favorite Dean Martin song says, “you are nobody until somebody else loves you, so find yourself somebody to love!”


By Regina A. DeMeo, Esq.