DC and MD Matrimonial Lawyer Focusing on Custody, Divorce and Prenups
For over 20 years, Regina A. DeMeo has been helping families in MD and DC with custody and divorce issues either through mediation, litigation or advocacy. She is an alumna of Georgetown University and GW University Law School, who is nationally recognized as a top matrimonial attorney. She is frequently quoted in the media for her ideas to promote healthier relationships and featured in the Washington Post, ABA Journal and Bethesda Magazine for her care and commitment to her clients. As a legal commentator, she has appeared on Washington Post Express Facebook Live, ABC tv, Good Morning America, MMCTV, YouTube and Sirius XM, and has been quoted in various magazines, books and journals across the country.
Regina offers appointments in Maryland and DC. Her areas of practice include:
Latest Blog Posts by GenXSmartie
Setting Expectations and Boundaries
In any new relationship, one of the first critcial things to work out is setting appropriate expectations on frequency of contact, appropriate forms of communication and establishing our individual boundaries. This should happen rather smoothly and progress quite normally in a healthy relationship. The trickier task is re-establishing boundaries when a relationship is being re-configured, such as when a marriage is dissolving.It is very hard for people to re-set their patterns of communication, but when they are no longer living in one house, it simply is not necessary or even healthy to maintain daily contact with an ex. Learning to disengage is difficult, and some people unwittingly seem to pick fights in order to stay connected, which of course only further alienates the other person. I cannot tell you how many times people complain to me about the frequency or hostility in the communications they receive from their soon to be exs. My first suggestion is to have the client try and deal with this alone, without the involvement of the attorneys or the authorities. We should all try to be polite, yet firm in setting our boundaries, keeping in mind that boundaries are meant to protect you, not punish the other. Just because we have instant communication available to us, does not mean we have to respond instantly. If [...]
Ending Long Term Marriages
Today, I went to court to finalize a divorce for my client, who had been married 35 years. I have had a series of these "grey divorces" lately-- 6 of my settlements in the last six months have involved marriages over 20 years. One of my clients actually told me that she would understand the decision more if there was someone else in the picture. I respectfully had to disagree, because my experience is that the sense of betrayal then tends to cloud the entire process. Divorcing later in life usually eliminates the issues of custody and child support, and generally there tend to me more assets to act as a cushion as the parties divide into two households, but regardless of the total value of assets being divided, financial security never seems to alleviate all the pain, which stems from the feelings of having failed at something so important. It is normal to feel a tremendous amount of loss and dissapointment or anger. Most of all though, what I see when these long-term marriages end is clients who now have to face the fear of being alone. After decades of being part of a team, these people are now parting ways and starting over a single life in their 50's or older. It is truly one of the hardest [...]
Learning to Collaborate
After law school, I spent my first six years as an attorney in Washington, DC focusing on family law litigation. I was taught to listen to my client’s story, then advocate his/her position as zealously as possible. While my clients were always happy with their "wins" there were often times were I was left wondering whether in fact the court had made the best decision for the family as a whole.In 2005, after my own marriage ended in divorce, I decided to pursue a complete transformation in my legal training. I became trained in mediation and Collaborative Law. I read various books and attended numerous trainings on psychology. Learning how depression and other mental health issues can impact clients going through a traumatic experience like divorce helped me understand that my role needed to be more of a counselor, not just an advocate. Most importantly, it became clear to me that to truly help people resolve their differences, I needed to hear both parties version of events, as well as their goals and concerns. True understanding can only happen when we listen to each person’s story, and a successful resolution is when we select the best option for the family as a whole, not just one individual. In the last 5 years, applying the Collaborative approach not just in my [...]
Finding the Right Attorney
When you are facing a legal challenge, you need to find the right ally to help you navigate the legal system. This is a very personal choice, and you should take your time researching the person's background and reputation. Some are known for being incredibly aggressive litigators, others have more of a collaborative approach that focuses on creative resolutions outside of court. The client has to be able to determine what style s/he wants first, then the selection of an attorney that will meet that need can occur much more efficiently. Litigation in my family tore us apart for years, and I made a personal choice six years ago not to litigate my own divorce for my son's sake. I wanted my son to have his father in his life as much as possible; I did not want my son to suffer the way I did, and I encourage my clients to get passed their anger as quickly as possible so that we can focus on the best solutions for the family as a whole. Big firms tend to focus on litigation, which produces lots of billable hours and work for associates, paralegals, etc. Meanwhile, those of us that truly promote mediation or a more collaborative approach focused on settlements outside of court are either solo practitioners or small firms. [...]