These days, certain politicans have been making headings due to their issues with impulse control, but the truth is based on what I have seen, we could all use a lesson on learning to rein in our emotions. Especially with the rise and speed of modern technology, we have to make ourselves stop and think of the consequences of putting something in writing, posting things on Facebook, or sending lewd pictures via the internet, Twitter, etc.Here are 3 questions we should ask ourselves before communicating something in the heat of the moment:1. Does this really need to be sent now? If the answer is no, then wait until your are a little calmer.2. Can I stand by this statement? In other words, will I embarrassed if this message is read by others?3. What is the point of sending the message? Make sure there is in fact something worth saying, otherwise don't bother.Quite recently, I met a woman who wanted her ex to know exactly how poorly she thought of him, and despite everyone's recommendation that she not send an email, she was convinced that she had to this for her own sake. I guess if she felt it had to be sent, that she could stand by her comments, and that it served some purpose, then she did the right [...]

I am usually a pretty decisive person, but I have to admit that post-divorce I have had a number of occassions where I question my ability to prudently judge a situation or person. It is at these times when I am eternally grateful to my core group of friends that I lovingly refer to as my "think tank." When I am ambivalent about a choice that needs to be made, I try to subject the question to a number of my trusted peers, and then I weigh their comments carefully before making my own decision. I may not always adhere to the majority opinion, but I appreciate hearing the pros and cons from different perspectives, as it helps me make what I feel is a more informed decision.Many of my clients have complained of being filled with self-doubt or uncertainty as they try to navigate unchartered waters by themselves, and my advice is always to have them rely on a core group of friends that can provide emotional support and lend a sympathetic ear during this difficult phase in their lives.For those who are used to being independant, it may take some time before the idea of submitting things for peer review starts to come naturally, but I think the sooner a person can grow accustomed to this, the better. [...]

Let's face it, attorneys tend to be control freaks: we like telling our clients what to do; we monitor carefully our schedules and calendars; we edit our clients' emails and choose their words for them; we prepare the case in our own way; in a courtroom we ensure the rules are followed; and meanwhile, the people most emotionally invested in the case cannot speak unless specifically addressed by the judge or counsel. While these skills might serve us well at work, they can be quite detrimental in our personal lives.Funny thing about life is that it does not always like following someone's plan. My first real lesson in this respect was with my son. It is very hard to accept (especially as a control freak) that a "due date" is not actually set in stone. In the beginning of my pregnancy, no one could tell me if it would be a boy or girl, whether he would look like his dad or me, whether I would need to go on bedrest, have a C-section, or when my water would break. I kept wondering what I would do if the latter happened while I was in court or in a client meeting-- thankfully, all that worrying was unnecessary, as it wound up happening at the hospital. But the point was, I [...]