I am usually a pretty decisive person, but I have to admit that post-divorce I have had a number of occassions where I question my ability to prudently judge a situation or person. It is at these times when I am eternally grateful to my core group of friends that I lovingly refer to as my “think tank.” When I am ambivalent about a choice that needs to be made, I try to subject the question to a number of my trusted peers, and then I weigh their comments carefully before making my own decision. I may not always adhere to the majority opinion, but I appreciate hearing the pros and cons from different perspectives, as it helps me make what I feel is a more informed decision.
Many of my clients have complained of being filled with self-doubt or uncertainty as they try to navigate unchartered waters by themselves, and my advice is always to have them rely on a core group of friends that can provide emotional support and lend a sympathetic ear during this difficult phase in their lives.
For those who are used to being independant, it may take some time before the idea of submitting things for peer review starts to come naturally, but I think the sooner a person can grow accustomed to this, the better. Life only gets more complicated as we get older, and having people with different expertise weigh in with their suggestions on how to address a problem just expands the possibilities for finding the best solution.