Let’s face it- divorce sucks, even when you do it my way: privately, quietly and quickly. To start life over again, flying solo, is not what most of us had planned to do in our 30’s, 40’s or beyond… but so what? Life rarely plays out exactly how we expected it to, and over half of us, either because of death or divorce, will have to learn as adults to redefine what it means to live happily ever after.
Everyone suffers setbacks– even the rich and beautiful. No one is immune to disease, death or heartbreak. But none of the people I have ever met in the 18 years I have been handling divorces allow themselves to be defined by these setbacks. Not that it is easy for any of us to overcome hardships, but what is the alternative?
When I graduated law school 18 years ago, I thought I would have 2 kids with my husband, work at a firm, and have a “normal” life until I retired. I had no intention of becoming a prolific writer and media commentator as a result of my own divorce. My plan was not to raise a child mostly by myself while managing my own law firm. Nor did I envision finding my father at 38, and discovering a wonderful new family for my son. Let’s be honest, there is nothing normal about what has happened to me this past decade, and yet I feel fortunate to say there’s only a few regrets, and mostly like Frank Sinatra said, I’m glad I got to do it “my way.”
For those of you that are not familiar with the lyrics of “My Way” below is the link to one of my all-time favorite classics, and here’s hoping it inspires you too to persevere, and do things your way: